Monday, May 25, 2009


Hello, all!  It's been quite a while since I've posted last.  I've been really busy, and missing out on a lot of things I normally would never stray this blog, for example.  I'm doing a bit better than the last few times I wrote.  I started self-medicating again, on Zoloft (which I see as fine, because my doctor has been under the assumption I've been taking it all along).  I'm feeling much better!  I have also switched to 100% caffeine free beverages...even my coffee!  I guess it's the combination of the two, but my heart palpitations aren't one-tenth as bad as they were before.  My anxiety is still lurking in the shadows...I still have bad days...but I have not had one panic attack since tuesday, the 12th...and that was for damn good reason!

My best friend Kaleigh, her husband, Jon and I went on our vacation to Tulsa, Oklahoma last weekend.  It was GREAT!  We actually got stuck there an extra day (we were supposed to be home by noon on Sunday the 17th, and got home around 7pm on Monday the 18th!)...we slept through our 7am flight.  We were really stressed out about it at the time, but our extra day in Tulsa ended up being one of the best yet.  The very first night we were there, we got in, changed clothes and went out to explore Mayfest, and beyond.  Mayfest is a festival/concert series that is held every year in downtown Tulsa.  Our hotel overlooked the main stage, and we were perfectly centered for all of the weekends' festivities.  We had originally been going for the Hanson Members' Only Event (don't laugh, it was amazing), but it turned out the band had planned it around Mayfest so us fans would get to experience it.  Props to Isaac, Taylor and Zac!  Anyway...the first night we found ourselves at this small, hole-in-the-wall bar called Arnie's on the corner of 2nd and Elgin.  Jager shots were doubles, in a rocks glass for $2.  Beers were about $1.50.  I met an adorable guy with dark curly hair, blue eyes and a guitar.  His name is Austin (his middle name is Trevor!!!), and we're still keeping in touch.  He's thinking of coming to visit this summer, and I'll sure as hell be going back to Tulsa, myself.  I told him all about my son, and he was a wonderful, sweet person.  I wonder where things will go with him?  Only time will tell.

The Members' Only Event weekend consisted of one of the band's usual Walks (see Take The Walk for more information), which was a great success!  The shows were split into 3 sessions, one on Friday at 8pm, and two on Saturday at 3pm and 7pm.  We were lucky to get into the final show on Sat @ 7pm...and there are no words.  I'm sure you're reading this and laughing, but seriously...I bet you haven't heard a thing from Hanson since "MMMBop", have you?  Go down to my playlist and listen to "Never Let Go"...I bet you'll love it!  That's a rare song that they've almost never played; and Taylor, my favorite, played it as a solo during the show last weekend.  I've waited literally almost 10 years for that moment. (Also, my fellow Baby Lost Mamas need to look up "Lay Me Down" and "Broken Angel" by Hanson as well.  I promise it will be worth it.)   There were less than 100 people at our a very small, intimate theater.  It was an amazing night for me, and I'm sure for many other Hanson fans.  Overall, I LOVED Tulsa, with or without Hanson...and I will definitely be back!

Here are some of the pics highlighting my Okie weekend!


  1. Dear Jacquelyn,
    I'm so happy to hear you had a wonderful time in Tulsa, and that you haven't had a panic attack since the 12th, that's such good news, as I know how terrifying panic attacks are, as I used to have them myself, as well as heart palpitations and anxiety, which I too gave up coffee and that did make a big difference. I have been thinking a lot of you lately, and this morning I decided to go to the beach and write "Trevor Michael's" name by the sea (I hope you don't mind). I have taken three photos, and was wondering if you would like me to email them to you, and also if you would like me to post one of them on my memorial site? If you do can you please send me an email at:
    My memorial site is:
    Lots of Love,
    Kay xxxx

  2. If your title hadn't said I Heart Tulsa! I probably would have bypassed your blog altogether! What a shame I'd have missed out on such a beautiful story and people! I have lived in Tulsa for 11 years now and it is my home. =D I love it! You have so much more to see when you return!