Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

So today (Sept. 25th) is my 24th birthday! I am actually, despite a few obvious setbacks/distractions (which we will get to), pretty excited for tonight. Later tonight, that is...since it's 2:41am and technically my birthday starts when I wake up later. A bunch of friends and family and myself are all going down to our family's lake house for a bonfire/birthday party on the water! I'm excited because for once I'm pretty sure the majority of the people I invited are coming. I have some new friends, some family and some old friends coming. A good mix. It should, for the most part, be a good time.

Speaking of old friends, however, I have gotten myself into quite an awkward situation. An ex-boyfriend of mine, Josh, is going to be at my birthday party. I haven't seen him at all, pretty much since we broke up a year and a half ago. So he texted me to wish me a happy birthday, and asked me if I had any good plans for my day. So I told him about my party; and I said he was more than welcome to come, because he never shows up anywhere I invite him anyway...and I had to be polite and ask. So guess who thinks that's a GREAT idea? Yup, the ex boyfriend. I guess our breakup wasn't as bitter as others of mine have been; but I generally don't invite my ex boyfriends to my birthday parties!!!! What was I thinking? So now I wonder, does he think this is some kind of booty call? Because HELL. NO. If I'm being blunt, it's my time of the month, I can barely walk AT ALL because I sprained my ankle tonight, and I'm not that interested in casual sex anymore. It has to mean something, or I'm not giving myself up or so I say. So Josh is not "getting any", if that's his goal.

And then I think, what if he really is still into me? We didn't break up because we had lost feelings for each other at all. We broke up because it was the wrong time in both of our lives HIS life for a relationship with each other. But I'm a lot different now, so maybe he is, too? Maybe he's never lost contact with me for more than a month since we broke up, because he really does still have feelings for me? Maybe he's the one! Maybe he's realized leaving was a mistake...

...and maybe, it's still just a booty call. I almost can't tell the difference, anymore. Only time will tell.

But like I said, outside of these things, for some reason...I am completely optimistic about my birthday! So I'm basking in the ambiance. Hope all is well out there in blog world!

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