It's been a while/Dear Trevor

Hello, fellow bloggers! It's been quite some time since I've been able to write here. I don't know if it's my schedule, or my pessimism that has kept me away, but it's mostly over now. I have some exciting things coming in my life; the details of which I will share with you all in a few weeks. For now, I thought I'd write to all of you, and my son at the same time. Hope you are all doing well - I miss you!

Dear Trevor,

I caught 11:22 on the drive home tonight. You made me smile, as always. Did you know that you're exactly 5-and-a-half today? What a big, handsome boy you'd be! I'm sure you're up there in that mansion, having you're very own half-birthday with your little Angel friends! I think that your "cousin," Miles, can feel you here with us. He's only two, but I swear he knows you're there sometimes. That makes me smile, too. His sister - your other cousin, Emily, will be four tomorrow. I know you'll be there with me at the birthday party! (She helped me blow out your candles this year, remember?)

On another note, I want to thank you, Little Man. Thank you for being my Angel; my first baby, my little boy. Even though we can't be together right now, I thank God every single day for the time we had together. You are the one thing in my world that I love more than anything; the light of my life. You have taught me so much by only having come to me, no matter how short of a time you were here. I love you!

I know your birthday is not until November, but I've been thinking about your party. I think we're going to go with Nemo this year. He reminds me of you :-) I can't believe you're closer to six, than five. I'm sure you've grown up way too fast! I only hope that your Papa can keep up with you!

I'm sure you're looking down on me, and that you know all about the plans I have for my future. I hope that you're as excited as I am! I miss you, baby. I only wish I could kiss your precious face and run my fingers through your dark brown curls. Someday. Keep sending me your little signs, Trev...it's what keeps me going every day. Be a good little Angel, and Mama will be with you before you know it! I love you so so so so so much, Trevor Michael!

With my unconditional love, always,

Mama <3