Peace, Love and Me!

I'm having a great day today!  I have thought about my little Angel, all day, and smiled!  I'm trying to cherish the 22 minutes I did get to spend on this Earth with my baby boy.  I have basically been a hermit lately.  I've been getting up around 3pm, staying home all day until my best friend gets out of work; and then going to her house and crying with her.  I'm sure she's getting tired of it; as is her husband.  I have been doing nothing.  I haven't gone out, cleaned my apartment, cooked a meal, or even really lived in quite a long time.  So today, I woke up around 11:30 (which is good for me), got dressed, went and got myself lunch (which I ate at the Sea Wall, beautiful!), went grocery shopping; and I'm going to cook a chicken/asparagus casserole to have my sister and her boyfriend over for dinner.

I know these things sound common and simple, but for me, it was a great big step in the right direction!  I had no fear of being alone.  I accomplished daily tasks without having a meltdown.  I saw a little boy with his young mother in the market, and was able to speak to them and compliment her on how beautiful her son is, without being in a fit of jealous rage!  I know these days only come every once in a while, but I like them.  I feel like myself again, at least for now.

On another note, spring is here! I actually took this picture two years ago with a crappy digital camera.  It was the day my cousin's daughter (my goddaughter), Helena, was born; and on my way out to visit them in the hospital, I saw this single, beautiful lily in (then my house) my mother's front yard.  I took a picture, and it came out amazing!  I can't use it for this week's spring/Easter theme at I Heart Faces, because, well, there's no face in it.  But I like it, so I wanted to share!

P.S. - I need sponsors for March for Babies!!  The walk is in 12 days!  If you have even an extra $10 to spare, I would truly appreciate your donation.  You can sponsor me online on My Personal Page; or send me cash or check; for which, you can email me at Jacquelyn925@aol.com for the address.

I hope everyone is enjoying spring, wherever you are!

A Good Day...For Once

So today I had a sort of "revelation", if you will.  I was taking the 20-minute drive home from Westerly, and it was around the time the sun begins to set.  I was driving along, listening to my favorite music, and suddenly, I felt so at peace; for the first time in a long time.  I don't know what it was: the trees, the clouds, the light pink color the sky was turning, or what; but I thought, that's God.  If that's not something that shows me who God is, I don't know what is.

I thought about my son in that moment.  For the first time, instead of feeling sad, I was relieved.  Relieved to think he's up there with God in Heaven.  I thought, good for him.  I'm happy for you, little man.  So Trevor, Mama loves you; and I know you're happy where you are.  That's all that matters to me now.  I'm sure I will have my share of bad days to come, but today wasn't one of them.  I'm glad for that.